Dead Ex Deluxe

Some people do yoga to release trauma. You attend your exes’ funerals. Not for closure, just to make sure they’re really gone. And to rate the catering, obviously.

These sunglasses don’t speak, they judge. Silently. “I know what you did in April 2019, and yes, I kept the screenshots.” You don’t ignore messages, you archive them with a level of emotional detachment that makes HR departments deeply uncomfortable.

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SKU 9570

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