Ocean

If you want to stay anonymous, pick a beach chair in row six; face the boulevard, keep your back to the sea, because water remembers faces better than people do. Just watch out, because things can go sideways the second a seagull with boardroom ambitions decides your fries are a hostile takeover. Those little bastards show zero mercy. Last April, when the whole team was sitting at Kootjes Café and Sjannie was demolishing a tray of fries with a “special” sausage, it happened. The seagull didn’t make it. Is seagull with onions actually tasty? Sjannie swears it is; curry sauce does most of the heavy lifting anyway.