Urban Turtle

The difference between looking at someone and handling someone is bigger than most people think. This pair doesn’t bother explaining that difference, if you don’t get it, you’re probably being stared at.

 Urban Turtle isn’t a pair of sunglasses. Urban Turtle is a warning label in tortoiseshell print.

Just ask Joke. Ever since she got that titanium hip and started gliding through the hallway with this pair on, she’s convinced every new hire has a tiny workplace crush on her. “He looked at me!” she yells, dragging her trash bag like it’s designer.

To be fair, we checked the security footage. He did look. At the glasses. Still counts.